Shame has pre-verbal origins and can be difficult to define. It is a healthy human power which can become a true sickness of the soul. There are two forms of shame one is of which is healthy shame that can be nourishing and the other that is toxic and be life destroying. It is a deep wound that contributes to living life always guarded and not wanting to be exposed. The belief is that you are flawed and defective as human being and unlovable. This becomes much more than a thought it becomes a “felt sense” and a way of being. Toxic shame gives a sense of worthlessness and a sense of being a failure or not measuring up as a human being. An intense inner pain is experienced which can include a sense of absence or emptiness. When toxic shame becomes internalized it goes from a feeling to a way of being or an identity. Treating addiction and not addressing the underlying toxic shame can at times bring about short term change as the inner child continues to act out in various ways. The journey from addiction to recovery brings about new ways of coping and managing with life which doesn’t include addictive behaviours to mood alter.
